Newsie's Fables
by Inquisitive
Summary: The newsies put their own twist on the age old fables. Contains SLASH.
1. The Fox and the Hedgehog

Newsie's Fables

  


  


  


Author: Inquisitive (Ink)

  


Rating: PG-13

  


Disclaimer: I own very little. Disney owns Newsies, Aesop owns the fables, other stuff belongs to other people, Ink belongs to me.

*Moral- Don't sue me.

  


A/N[1]: Hi everyone! (Waves enthusiastically.) This beautiful piece of artistic wonder is my very first fanfic ever! (Cheers!) So please read, review, and tell me what you think. Oh yeah, and anything in bold, is the real fable.

  


  


  


  


Tale 1: **The Fox and the Hedgehog**

  


  


  


  


Snoody walks calmly to center stage, carrying a giant storybook. He opens it and begins reading.

  


Snoody: "**A fox in some unaccountable fashion got his tail entangled in a thicket which held him as closely as though he had been caught in a trap,"**

  


Here Snoody pauses, looking behind him, there stood Bumlets holding a stick in each hand.

  


Snoody: "Uh... Ink?"

  


Ink pokes her head out from back stage.

  


Ink: "Yeah?"

  


Snoody: "Wheres da fox?"

  


Ink: "....."

  


She thinks for a minute.

  


Ink: "JACK!"

  


Jack is hiding backstage.

  


Jack: "I ain't goin'' out dere you can't make me."

  


Ink smiles mischievously, and ducks backstage. In a few moments a yelp is herd.

  


Jack: "Hey! Put me down!"

  


Big-Jack-in-a-fox-costume-toting-Brooklyn-newsie: "No."

  


Jack stops squirming and pouts, which is really cute because he has fox ears, a little fox nose, and whiskers.

  


Random audience members: "Awwww!"

  


The Big-Jack-in-a-fox-costume-toting-Brooklyn-newsie, drops Jack unceremoniously onto the stage in front of Bumlets the thicket.

  


Bumlets smirks, reaches down, and grabs Jacks tail, which promptly comes off in his hands.

  


Jack begins writhing around on the stage floor, pretending that his tale has been pulled off by a spiteful thicket.

  


Ink slaps her forehead and turns toward the crew.

  


Ink: "Who was in charge of costumes?" 

  


Race tries to blend into the wall behind him.

  


Ink: "Race, why did his tale fall off?"

  


Race: "All you'se gave me to use was scotch tape an a papaclip, wha da ya 'spect?"

  


Ink: "Well can you fix it?"

  


Race: "Nope."

  


Ink: "Why not!?"

  


Race: "He bent da papaclip."

  


Ink looks at him in disbelief for a moment before shaking her head.

  


Ink: "Bumlets, just grab his suspenders. JACK! Stop that!"

  


Jack stops writhing and sits up, as Bumlets grabs his suspenders. He then begins poking Snoody, who has fallen asleep, with a random stick.

  


Snoody: "Wha? Oh, are we ready now?"

  


Ink nods, and gestures for him to continue.

  


Snoody: "**In no time at all myriads of mosquitoes, seeing his plight, settled down upon him to enjoy a good meal undisturbed by his brush.**"

  


Dutchy and Specs, clad in pixie wings, and carrying crazy straws, skip onto the stage.

  


Ink: "What the Hell? RACE!"

  


Race: "What?"

  


Ink: "Why are my mosquitoes wearing PIXIE WINGS?"

  


Race: "You try finding bug wings on short notice."

  


Ink: "Okay. Never mind. Go on."

  


Dutchy and Specs, who had never stopped skipping around the stage, move toward Jack and begin poking him with the crazy straws.

  


Snoody: "**A hedgehog who chanced to be strolling by felt sorry for the fox and approached him, saying**..."

  


Spot steps onto the stage, and Dutchy begins giggling uncontrollably. Spot's hair is sticking strait up in every direction, looking hard enough to break off if someone touched it.

  


Ink: "Spot, how much gel do you have in your hair?"

  


Spot: "The whole jar."

  


Having said this nonchalantly, he turns, and smirks at Specs and Dutchy, as he raises his slingshot, aiming in their direction.

  


Both pixie bugs cower back in terror.

  


Spot: "**Friend fox, you seem to be in a most unfortunate situation. Would you like me to make you more comfortable by driving off these blood sucking pests?**" 

  


He says this, advancing menacingly.

  


Snoody: "**But**..."

  


Spot stops and glowers at him.

  


Snoody gulps, and continues,

  


Snoody: "**to the hedgehog's surprise the fox replied**,"

  


Jack: Yes please, shoot to kill!"

  


Ink: JACK! That was NOT your line!"

  


Jack: "Fine."

  


Once again pouting, he says monotonously,

  


Jack: "**No; thank you, my good friend, but I beg you not to disturb them.**"

  


Spot, looking agitated, says,

  


Spot: "**And why **the Hell **not?**"

  


Snoody: "**Persisted the well-meaning hedgehog.**"

  


Specs and Dutchy are slowly growing board with poking Jack. All of a sudden, there is a mangled cry of pain and surprise. Dutchy has put the straw against Jacks bare arm and sucked into the other end of it, having created enough suction to leave a welt, he tried to take it out of his mouth, but his tongue was sucked into the straw, and he was now trying frantically to pull it back out while Jack swatted at him.

  


Spot burst out laughing, and Specs glares at him before going over to Dutchy and pulling him back, breaking the suction of the straw. 

  


Jack winces, and rubs at the angry looking red welt forming on his arm, and tries to continue with the fable.

  


Jack: "**Well you see,**"

  


Spot: "Growled the fox!"

  


Snoody: "**_Replied_ the fox**,"

  


He snaps, quickly becoming frustrated.

  


Jack: "**These mosquito**(**es**) idiots **which you see have already drawn their fill of blood. If you chase the**(**m**) morons **away a fresh swarm of hungry ones will descend upon me and they will not leave a **damn** drop of blood in my **freakin'** body**."

  


Spot looked highly amused, as Ink shakes her head in disgust, and walks off stage.

  


Snitch, with a coat hanger halo hanging over his head, steps onto the stage.

  


Snitch: "da moral of da story is dis; **a needy thief steals more than one who enjoys plenty**. What eva dat means."

  


He finishes before the curtain drops down.

  


  


  


  


A/N[2]: Thank you for giving my story a chance. Please, please, please, review! If you do, I promise to love you forever, and to speak fondly of you to all of the imaginary people who live in my closet.

~Ink


	2. The Dog in the Manger

Disclaimer: I own very little. Disney owns Newsies, Aesop owns the fables, other stuff belongs to other people, Ink belongs to me.

*Moral- Don't sue me.

  


A/N[1]: Yay! A second chapter! This chapter contains SLASH so be warned.

  


  


  


  


Tale 2: **The Dog in the Manger**

  


  


  


  


Ink: "Has anyone seen Snoody?"

  


Spot whistles innocently to himself.

  


Ink: "Spot, what did you do with my narrator?"

  


Spot: "Don't worry, he'll be fine in a couple a hours."

  


Ink: "WHAT?!"

  


Spot begins to look afraid and slowly backs up.

  


Spot: "Never mind, I was kiddin' I didn't do anythin to 'im I swear."

  


Ink: "Where am I going to get a narrator on such short notice, I mean the stories already started for crying out loud!"

  


Spot shrugs.

  


Spot: "Hey, don't look at me, I gotta go get dis shit outta my hair."

  


Ink: "Arggg!"

  


She looks around, and her eyes land on Racetrack.

  


Ink: "Oh costume boy?"

  


Race: "Don't call me dat!"

  


Ink: "Okay, I won't, because your being promoted, here are your lines, your on, so GO."

  


Race: "WHAT?!"

  


Ink pushes Race onto the stage, where he stands looking at the audience like a deer caught in headlights.

  


Ink: "Race, just read the first line in the book."

  


Race nods, takes a deep breath, and starts. At the same time, Ink heads toward the bathroom to flush the toilet while Spot is in the shower.

  


(Mmmm, Spot in the shower!)

  


Race: "**A dog looking for a quiet and comfortable place to take a nap jumped into the manger of the ox and lay there on the hay**."

  


Skittery walks on stage in a dog costume, complete with big floppy ears, and a long tail safety pinned to the back of his pants.

  


Ink: "Hey Race, where'd you get the safety pin?"

  


Race: "I went to Staples during da break."

  


Off stage Spot could be herd cursing, and vowing revenge on Ink, her family, her friends, everyone she had ever cared about, her third grade class, and the assistant principal of the nursery school her grandfather had attended.

  


Skittery: Through ain't he?"

  


Ink nods.

  


Skittery climbs into the hay, and for the next ten minutes he squirms and shifts around in it.

  


Race: "Skittery, what the Hell are ya doin'?"

  


Skittery: "Findin' a comfortable position."

  


Race: "Would you jus' lay down so we can get dis ova wit?"

  


He asks huffily.

  


Skittery: "Fine, you don't gotta get snarky about it."

  


Skittery lays still.

  


Ink: "Finally!"

  


Race: "**Sometime later the ox, returning hungry from his day's work, entered his stall and found the dog in his manger.**"

  


Skittery began shifting around again, and making funny noises.

  


Mush walks on stage wearing ox horns, and no shirt.

  


Ink: "Mush, where's your shirt?"

  


Mush: "oxes don't wear shirts."

  


Ink smirks pervertedly.

  


Ink: "You know Mush, oxen don't wear pants either."

  


Mush considers this.

  


From off stage comes a voice,

  


Jack: "Hey! Wait a minute, this thing's only rated PG-13, which means no nudity."

  


Ink: "Damn!"

  


Mush: "Skittery, what the Hell are you doin'?"

  


Race: "Can we please get on wit dis?"

  


Ink: "It's your line Racey my love."

  


Race: "Don't call me dat." 

  


Ink: "Okay, I'm sure I can think of something much more embarrassing to call you."

  


Race pales visibly.

  


Race: "**The dog, in a rage because he had been awakened from his nap, stood up and barked and snapped whenever the ox came near his hay.**"

  


Everyone looks at Skittery, who is straddling some unseen object in the hay.

  


Mush taps him lightly on the shoulder and he looks up.

  


Mush: "Umm... Skittery... Your supposed to be barking."

  


Skittery: "Oh yeah... Right... Ahem... Bark. Bark. Snap. Growl. Yada-yada. Etc... Woof!"

  


Skittery promptly goes back to what he had been doing in the hay, leaving everyone on or near the stage staring at him in confusion.

  


Race: "**The ox is a patient beast, but finally he protested:**"

  


Mush: "**Dog, if you wanted to eat my dinner I would have no objection. But you will neither eat it yourself nor let me enjoy it, which strikes me as a very churlish way to act.**"

  


Skittery: "But I am enjoying it."

  


Mush: "But your not eating it."

  


Skittery looks up and smiles,

  


Skittery: "No, I'm not."

  


The hay in the manger begins moving. Mush looks at it in horror.

  


Mush: "The killer hay wants revenge! I ate it's family, and friends. Quick, flee, run, panic!

  


Mush runs off stage hysterical.

  


Suddenly a figure sits upright in the hay.

  


Snitch: "What's goin' on Skitts?"

  


Skittery kisses him quickly.

  


Skittery: "I think it's time for da moral."

  


Snitch: "meep!"

  


From off stage Ink raises an eyebrow, as a very disheveled Snitch scrambles out of the hay manger. He hastily tucks his shirt back in to his pants, and straitens his "halo" blushing all the while.

  


Snitch: "Da moral of dis story is; **some begrudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves.** Also, don't make-out in a hay manger wit da whole woild watchin'!"

  


The curtain drops.

  


  


  


  


A/N[2]: Yay! Snitch/Skittery (huggles the pairing.) Doesn't Spot in the shower give you a nice mental picture. Hey, I had shirtless!Mush too. What a great chapter! Please review!

~Ink

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, now for (insert drum roll here) SHOUTOUTS!

  


  


SPARKLES2~ I'm glad you liked it. I'll update as often as I can. Damn school, getting in the way of my fun! My imaginary closet people return the hello to your Imaginary Bumlets, and they send him an imaginary fruit cake, as it is the food of choice for imaginary closet people.

  


  


SPAZJOSLYN~ I have over one hundred fables in my book. So, I'm planing on keeping this up until, you all tell me to shut up, or until I run out of ideas. I'm glad you found it funny! I was cracking up just writing it!

  


  


SPECSGLASSES~ My imaginary people now hold you in the highest respect. Snitch wasn't so angelic in this chapter was he? Thanks for reviewing, I love reviews!


	3. The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

Disclaimer: I own very little. Disney owns Newsies, Aesop owns the fables, other stuff belongs to other people, Ink belongs to me.

*Moral- Don't sue me.

  


A/N[1]: Be afraid, be kind of afraid. It's chapter 3!

  


  


  


  


Tale 3: **The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing**

  


  


  


  


Ink grabs Boots by his suspenders, and pulls him toward the stage.

  


Ink: "Hey Boots, guess what, your narrating!"

  


Boots: "What happened to Snoody?"

  


Bumlets: "We don't know, Spot won't tell us what he did wit 'im."

  


Boots looks worried for a minute.

  


Boots: "Is Spot in_ this_ story?"

  


Ink: "No, now get out there and start the story. Bumlets?"

  


Bumlets: "Yeah?" 

  


Ink: "Where's your costume?"

  


Bumlets: "I'm in dis one?"

  


Ink: "YOUR ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS!"

  


Bumlets rushes off in search of his costume.

  


Boots: "**A wolf had been lurking near a flock of sheep for several** **days.**"

  


Snipeshooter is center stage, looking like a giant marshmallow in his sheep costume. Jake walks on stage.

  


Jake: "Why am _I_ da wolf? I don't even like wolves, and I'm _allergic_ to sheep!

  


Snipeshooter grins maliciously, and rubs against Jake's leg, bah-ing noisily.

  


Jake: "Snipeshooter, get away from me, I ain't kiddin' I'se allergic!"

  


Snipeshooter backs up a fraction of an inch, and looks innocently up at Jake.

  


Ink: "Jake, get over it, were in the middle of a story here."

  


Jake: "What do you mean 'get over it'?"

  


Boots: "May I please continue?"

  


Ink: "Of course."

  


She sticks her tongue out at Jake, who promptly sneezes.

  


Boots: "**But so vigilant had been the shepherd in guarding his animals that the wolf was becoming desperate.**"

  


Bumlets comes out in full shepherd attire, but he is missing something.

  


Snipeshooter: "Somethin' don't look right."

  


Jake: "Yeah, ::sniff:: You don't have a bent sticky thing. ::sneeze::"

  


Bumlets: "It's a cane."

  


Ink: "That's not what it's called, wait a sec, it'll come to me."

  


Racetrack comes running on stage with his hands full.

  


Bumlets: "What you got dere Race?"

  


Race: "Well, I got Spot's cane, cause it's as close as I could get to the sheep stick thing, and I have, Allegra, da allergy medicine."

  


He hands the tablets to Jake who sneezes, and then looks very grateful.

  


Snipeshooter: "Race, does Spot know you took his cane?"

  


Race: "Ummmm...."

  


Spot: "WHO TOOK MY CANE?"

  


Race cowers behind Jake, as Spot storms on stage.

  


Ink: "Spot, we liberated your cane for artistic purposes."

  


All five boys: "What?"

  


Ink: "We need it for the story."

  


Spot pouts.

  


Spot: "But... you stole my cane."

  


Ink: "YOU stole MY narrator! When you give him back, you can have your cane back."

  


Spot walks off stage muttering incoherently to himself.

  


All of a sudden, from off stage, there comes a voice,

  


Specs: "A crook, definition 2, a shepherd's staff."

  


Ink: "THAT'S IT!"

  


Race: "Specs, how in the world did you come up with that?"

  


Specs shrugs.

  


Specs: "I did a google search."

  


Boots: "What's a google search?"

  


Ink: "If I have to explain the entire premise of the internet to you, this story will never end."

  


Jack: "This is the song that doesn't end..."

  


Mush: "Yes it goes on and on my friend..."

  


Dutchy: "Some people started singing it not knowing what it was..."

  


Snitch: "And they continued singing it forever just because..."

  


Itey: "This is the song that doesn't end..."

  


Ink gives the boys a look, and they all stop.

  


Boots: "Where in the world did dat come from?"

  


Jack: "She said da story would neva end."

  


Spot: "Great, now I'm gonna have dat stupid song stuck in my head for months!"

  


Ink: "Do you think we could get back to the story? Sometime this year perhaps?"

  


Snipeshooter sticks out his tongue, which is a very interesting shade of blue.

  


Jake: "Snipes, why is your tongue blue?"

  


Snipeshooter: "I just ate a sour blue raspberry warhead."

  


Bumlets: "Hey, I want a warhead!"

  


Ink: "I don't have any more."

  


All Boys: "Aww man."

  


Boots: "**Then one day the wolf found a sheepskin that had been thrown away.**"

  


Jake goes over to the flat and ratty looking sheepskin.

  


Jake: "Okay ::sniff:: I found it, now what?"

  


Boots smirks.

  


Boots: "**Quickly he slipped it on over his own hide and made his way among the flock of grazing sheep.**"

  


Jake: "Race, how long does it take Allegra to kick in?"

  


Race: "About three days."

  


Jake: "I am NOT going any closer to that thing!"

  


Ink: "Jake, if you keep going with the story I'll give you pixistix."

  


Jake brightens up.

  


Jake: "Really?"

  


Ink: "Really."

  


Jake practically lunges at the sheepskin and arranges it over his wolf ears.

  


Jake: "Da things ::sneeze:: I'll do ::sneeze:: for sugar! ::sniff::"

  


Jake gets on the floor next to Snipeshooter, and continues sneezing every few minutes.

  


Boots: "**Even the shepherd was deceived by the ruse, and when night came the wolf in his disguise was shut up with the sheep in the fold.**"

  


The lights dim slightly, and Bumlets walks over to the two sheep, he picks them both up with his bare hands, and carries them to the other end of the stage.

  


Ink: ".....?"

  


Bumlets: "What?"

  


Ink: "How the bloody Hell did you do that?"

  


Bumlets: "I lift weights."

  


Bumlets flexes, showing off his muscles to the swooning girls in the audience.

  


Random audience members: "Wooooo! ::faint::"

  


Jake and Snipeshooter are locked in a very small pen, and Jake is now sneezing nonstop.

  


Boots: "**But that evening the shepherd, wanting something for his supper, went down to the fold, and reaching in, seized the first animal he came to.**"

  


Bumlets walks back over to the fold.

  


Bumlets: "Hmmm, I believe I shall have the most diseased sheep in my flock for my supper."

  


Jake: "::sniff:: Hey! ::sneeze::"

  


Snipeshooter starts laughing uncontrollably.

  


Boots: "**Mistaking the wolf for a sheep the shepherd killed him on the spot.**"

  


Bumlets grins in an evil sort of way.

  


Jake: "Hey, ::sneeze:: wait ::sneeze:: a ::sneeze:: minute! ::sneeze:: You didn't ::sneeze:: tell me ::sneeze:: I was ::sneeze:: gonna ::sneeze:: be ::sneeze:: killed! ::sneeze::::sniff::"

  


Ink: "It must have... slipped my mind."

  


She attempts a look of innocence, as Bumlets moves in for the kill raising Spot's cane above his head.

  


A voice is herd from off stage,

  


Spot: "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Don't hurt my cane!"

  


Everyone freezes, and looks at Spot as if he has grown another head.

  


Spot: "I mean... umm... yeah."

  


He walks backstage, grumbling to himself about stupid cane stealers, and how revenge will be sweet, and how that cane had better not have a single scratch on it when he got it back.

  


Suddenly, Snitch comes bouncing out onto the stage, his halo is crooked, and his eyes are bright.

  


Ink: "Snitch, who gave you sugar?"

  


Snitch: "Skitterygavemeabouttwentypixistixthatwefoundbackstagethenhedaredmetoeatth emallatonceandIdidandtheywerereallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallygoodandcanIhav esomemoreplease?" 

(Skittery gave me about twenty pixistix that we found backstage then he dared me to eat them all at once and I did and they were x8really good and can I have some more please?)

  


He stands center stage rapidly bouncing from one foot to the other.

  


Everyone: "NO!"

  


Snitch tries to pout, but he is too hopped up on sugar to pull it off.

  


Snitch: "Damoralofdastoryis**Appearancesoftenaredeceiving**pleasecanIhaveanotherpixist ixInkhuh?"

(Da moral of da story is **Appearances often are deceiving, **please can I have another pixistix Ink huh?)

  


Ink: "Maybe later."

  


The curtain closes.

  


  


  


  


A/N[2]: Sugarhigh!Snitch rocks! I hope you like this chapter, it took forever to write. Now! Pixistix and sour warheads will be delivered to all of my reviewers by their favorite newsie.

~Ink

  


Jack: "Yeah, Pixistix and... HEY! I thought you said you were out of warheads!"

  


Ink: "Meep!"

  


She runs and hides from enraged sugar craving newsies.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shoutouts!

  


  


SPECSGLASSES~ I love your reviews! I hope you like this chapter, between school and homecoming, it took me forever to write. Thanks for reviewing!

  


  


LIAMS KITTEN~ I'm glad you liked the chapter, I hope you found this one amusing as well! Thanks for reviewing! 


	4. Mercury and the Woodman

Disclaimer: I own very little. Disney owns Newsies, Aesop owns the fables, other stuff belongs to other people, Ink belongs to me.

*Moral- Don't sue me.

  


A/N[1]: Wow, I'm writing my fourth chapter already! Rock on!

  


  


  


  


Tale 4: **Mercury and the Woodman**

  


  


  


  


All of the boys are surveying the stage with apprehension.

  


Jack: "Race, what's wit the giant tank of water?"

  


Race: "I dunno Jack, Ink jus' told me ta put da water on da stage."

  


Spot walks on stage, dragging Snoody behind him.

  


Spot: "Here he is now give me my cane back!"

  


Ink: "SNOODY!"

  


She runs over to Snoody and glomps him.

  


Ink: "Snoody, are you okay, what happened, are you hurt?"

  


Snoody: "It was terrible, Spot slipped something into my drink, then he locked me in dis closet, only it wasn't a normal closet, the crazed fangirl who kept me locked in dere called it a _snogging _closet!"

  


Snoody breaks down into tears, as anyone would after such a horrible experience.

  


Ink: "There, there, it's okay now, you're back with me."

  


Snoody starts sobbing harder.

  


Ink: "Oh I give up."

  


She thinks for a moment, and then begins to grow excited.

  


Ink: "Snoody! You can narrate again!"

  


Snoody cheers up a bit.

  


Ink: "Alright everybody, places!"

  


Snoody walks onto the stage, opens the storybook, and begins.

  


Snoody: "**An honest, hard-working woodman was felling a tree on the bank of a deep river.**"

  


Crutchy limps onto the stage, carrying a large plastic ax.

  


Crutchy: "Umm, Ink, where's da tree?"

  


Ink: "Opps!"

  


Racetrack takes this convenient opportunity to walk into her line of sight.

  


Ink grabs him.

  


Ink: "Here Crutchy, fell Race."

  


Race: "What are we doin' ta Race?"

  


Skittery: "Ya don't wanna know."

  


Ink pushes Race onto the stage.

  


Ink: "Race, just hold still. Crutchy, try not to really hit him.

  


She walks back off stage.

  


Crutchy raises the ax.

  


Race: "Crutchy old buddy old pal..."

  


Crutchy swings,

Race: "Ouch!"

  


Crutchy: "Sorry."

  


He swings,

  


Race: "Ouch!"

  


Crutchy: "Sorry."

  


He swings yet again,

  


Race: "Ouch goddamn it!"

  


Crutchy: "Sorry Race."

  


He prepares to swing again, but Snoody interrupts,

  


Snoody: "**In some way his hand slipped and his ax fell into the water and immediately sank to the bottom.**"

  


Race: "THANK GOD!"

  


Jack: "Race, you're such a baby."

  


Race: "Shut up fox-boy."

  


Jack shuts up, and Crutchy hurls his ax into the tank of water center stage.

  


Snoody: "**Being a poor man who could ill afford to lose the tool by which he earned his livelihood he sat down and lamented his loss most bitterly.**"

  


Crutchy: "Goddamn, mother-loving ax falls into the stupid son-of-a-whoring river, and now I can't fell the friggin' tree, or make any money."

  


Everyone looks at Crutchy, shocked.

  


Ink: "Crutchy, can you go a little less bitter perhaps?"

  


Crutchy beams.

  


Crutchy: "Sure, my stupid ax fell into the water. Boo hoo! Better?"

  


Ink: "Much."

  


Snoody: "**But Mercury, whose river it was, suddenly appeared on the scene.**"

  


Snitch: "I swear to God Skittery, if you throw me in that tank, I will kill you!"

  


Skittery comes running full speed onto the stage, holding onto Snitch, who is trying to squirm free.

  


Skittery: "You will not!"

  


Snitch: "Probably not, but I will let rabid llamas attack you in your sleep."

  


Skittery laughs and does not realize how close to the tank he is, until it's too late. He trips over the edge, and falls into the water, dragging Snitch down with him.

  


Snitch: "OH MY GOD, THIS WATER IS FREEZING!"

  


Skittery: "HOLY SHIT!"  
  


Dutchy: "Hey, I'm supposed to be Mercury!"  
  


Not to be outdone, Dutchy grabs Specs, throws him over his shoulder, and takes off toward the tank.

  


Specs: "Dutchy no PUT ME DOWN, I don't want to go in the water, there are enough people wet already. DUTCHY STOP!"

  


Dutchy: "BONZI!"

  


::SPLASH::

  


All four boys, looking like wet rats, stand up in the waist deep water, and look at each other.

  


For a moment, no one says anything, then,

  


Snitch, Dutchy, Specs, Skittery: "Chicken Fight!"

  


Snitch climbs onto Skittery's shoulders, while Dutchy and Specs argue over whose on top.

  


Specs: "You weigh more than I do."

  


Dutchy: "But your a better base."

  


Specs: "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

  


Dutchy: "HA! Paper beats rock, I win!"

  


Specs: "How does a stupid piece of paper beat a rock anyway?"

  


Dutchy shrugs, as Specs ducks under, and Dutchy nearly drowns him getting onto his shoulders. When both teams are up and ready, they rush at each other.

  


Race: "5 to 1 on Snitch and Skittery."

  


Everyone else: "Bum odds!"

  


(hehe, sorry I couldn't resist.)

  


Half an hour goes by, and the boys are still trying to knock each other down. Finally, Snitch shoves with all of his strength, and Dutchy and Specs topple over.

  


Snitch raises his arms in victory, and Skittery says,

  


Skittery: "Separated in a chicken fight, we are Snitch and Skittery, but together we are the undefeated, Chickenzilla!"

  


Ink: "Ahem. In case you had forgotten, we ARE in the middle of a story here."

  


Snoody: "Oh yeah. Where were we?"

  


Ink: "Mercury suddenly appeared on the scene." 

  


Dutchy pops out of the water.

  


Dutchy: "You rang?"

  


Crutchy nods, and Snoody continues,

  


Snoody: "**When he had learned of the woodman's misfortune, he offered to do what he could to help. Diving into the deep, swift-flowing stream, he brought up an ax made of solid gold.**"

  


Dutchy dives back into the tank, and brings up a plastic ax which has been painted canary yellow.

  


Dutchy: "Dis don't look like gold."

  


Ink: "Dutchy were on a budget, just deal okay?"

  


Dutchy: "Alrighty then."

  


He turns to Crutchy.

  


Dutchy: "**Could this be yours?**"

  


Snoody: "**He asked.**"

  


Crutchy: "Hell yes!" 

  


Ink smacks him upside the head.

  


Crutchy: "I mean,** Alas, I wish it were,**"

  


Snoody: "**Replied the woodman sadly.**"

  


Spot rushes on stage and glares menacingly at Ink.

  


Spot: "Where's my cane?"

  


Ink: "Oh yeah... I threw it in the back somewhere."

  


Spot: "You THREW my CANE!" 

  


Ink looks at Spot calmly, 

  


Ink: "Yeah, it's in the back, go get it if you want it."

  


Spot rushes back stage, and digs threw the large pile of animal tails and pixie wings. After several minutes he finds his cane, and clutches it protectively to his chest.

  


He runs back across the stage, speaking soothingly,

  


Spot: "It's okay baby, I wont let those bad people hurt ya eva again."

  


He walks off the other side of the stage, stroking his cane lovingly.

  


(stop thinking perverted thoughts!)

  


Les: "What in Blue Weasel Village was that?"

  


All of the actors shrug, and get on with the story.

  


Snoody: "**Again Mercury dived into the icy-cold water and this time brought up an ax made of solid silver.**"

  


Dutchy dives, then comes up whining,

  


Dutchy: "Ink, I've lost the feeling in all of my extremities."

  


Ink: "All of them?"

  


Dutchy: "ALL of them!"

  


Ink: "Well, it's not my fault Race filled the tank with cold water."

  


Everyone looks at Race.

  


Race: "Meep!"  
  


He runs away with a gaggle of wet boys chasing him.

  


Snoody: "**But again the woodman shook his head and denied that the tool belonged to him.**"

  


Crutchy: "That's not mine either, Dude get it right this time huh? I'm getting tired of standing here!"

  


Dutchy and Ink glare at him.

  


Snoody: "**Mercury dived a third time and produced the identical ax which the man had lost.**"

  


Crutchy: "Took ya long enough!"

  


Dutchy throws the ax at Crutchy's head.

  


Crutchy: "Ouch!"

  


Race: "HA!"

  


Snoody: "**Naturally the owner was delighted to see his trusty ax once more, and so was Mercury.**"

  


Dutchy: "**You are an honest **jerk, **and a good man**, sometimes**.**"

  


Snoody: "**Said the messenger of the gods.**"

  


Dutchy: "For some unfathomable reason, **I want you to take the golden and the silver ax as a reward for telling the truth.**"

  


Crutchy spits in Dutchy's general direction, and walks off.

  


Snoody: "**Thanking his benefactor, **(sort of) **the woodman ran home to tell his wife of his good fortune.**"

  


Ink pushes Spot onto the stage. He is wearing a dress, and a bonnet.

  


Spot: "I'm gonna KILL you!"  
  


Crutchy and Snoody sniger.

  


Crutchy: "**Dear wife, guess what happened today?**"

  


Spot: "I ain't your wife, and I don't give a damn."

  


He walks back off stage, struggling with the bow of the bonnet.

  


Snoody: "**As the story spread, one of the neighbors rushed down to the same spot on the river bank,**"

  


Les rushes onto the stage, dragging a giant plastic ax behind him.

  


Snoody: "**Threw his ax into the water,**" 

  


Les hurls the ax, barely missing hitting Dutchy.

  


Snoody: "**And began to moan and groan over his loss.**"

  


Les begins moaning loudly, sounding quite a bit like a platypus in heat.

  


Skittery: "He sounds like a platypus in heat."  
  


Ink nods.

  


Snoody: "**Just as before, Mercury appeared, and learning what had occurred, dived into the water and fetched up a golden ax.**"

  


Dutchy: "This is getting rather monotonous!"

  


He dives and comes up with the stupid canary yellow ax.

  


Dutchy: "**Is this the ax you **coughthrewcough **lost my **::ahem:: **friend?**"

  


Snoody: "**He asked.**"

  


Les looks at the tool awestruck, as canary yellow is his favorite color.

  


Les: "**Yes, yes, that's it.**"

  


Snoody: "**Lied the man,**"

  


Boots: "Obviously."

  


Snoody: "**greedily reaching for the golden ax in Mercury's hand.**"

  


Les jumps on Dutchy's back, and tries to wrestle the ax out of his grip.

  


Dutchy: "Ack!"

  


Snoody: "**But just as he was about to grasp the ax of gold,**"

  


Les pauses for a moment, leaving Dutchy gasping for breath.

  


Snoody: "**Mercury said:**"

  


Dutchy: "**Not so **::gasp:: **fast, **::gasp:: **sir. You are lying, **::gasp:: **and to punish you **::gasp:: **for not being truthful, **::gasp::** I am not only denying you this, but I am leaving your own ax at the bottom of the river.**"

  


Les's bottom lip begins to quiver, then he rushes off of the stage, and begins to throw a temper tantrum in the dressing room.

  


Ink: "Les, if you break anything, you have to pay for it."

  


Snitch mogs onto the stage, looking morose.

  


Snitch: "No one will give me any more sugar."

  


Skittery tiptoes onto the stage, and presses something into Snitch's hand.

  


Snitch opens his hand and gawks at it's sugary contents, before pouncing on Skittery, and glomping him to death.

  


Skittery: "Snitch, ya still gotta do da moral!"

  


Snitch: "Oh yeah, dis moral is, **Honesty is the best policy.**"

  


He then drags Skittery off stage, to find the storage closet which doubled as the snogging closet in the weird world which was this story.

  


All of a sudden, a loud "ACK!" is herd as Race is dropped head first into the freezing water tank.

  


The curtain drops.

  


  


  


  


A/N[2]: God that chapter was LONG!!!! By the way, the chicken fight was based on a true story, my brother was on my shoulders for a half an hour. That sucked! But we won! Anyway, it's time for... Shoutouts!

~Ink

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shoutouts!

  


  


SPECSGLASSES~ Your reviews are awesome! It's too bad you're sick, I'm sick too. The doctor thinks I have mono. On the up side, now I have more time to write, And sleep, I like sleep. Anyway, here's the candy I promised.

  


Specs walks out carrying a bowl of hot chicken soup.

  


Specs: "Snitch, have you got the warheads and pixistix?"

  


Snitch bounds up behind him, nearly knocking him over.

  


Snitch: "YeahIgotthecandyrighthere."

(Yeah I got the candy right here.)

  


Specs: "SNITCH, STOP EATING THE PIXISTIX! Those are for Alarice."

  


Snitch: "OkaySpecsI'llstopeatingthepixistixbutIreallylikepixistixbecausetheyaresooogood theyarelikefireworksinJulyandpreasntsonChristmasandcandlesonabirthdaycakeandlovein hespringtimeandmorningdewonadaisy."

(Okay Specs I'll stop eating the pixistix, but I really like pixistix because they are sooo good, they are like fireworks in July, and presents on Christmas, and candles on a birthday cake, and love in the springtime, and morning dew on a daisy.)

  


Specs stares at Snitch, who hasn't taken a breath for that entire speech.

  


Specs: "I hope you feel better Alarice!"

  


He hands you the soup.

  


Snitch: "Yeahandbesuretoeatallofthecandytoobecausesugarmakesyouhappyandwhenyour happyI'mhappyandsugarissooocooldon'tyouthink?"

(Yeah, and be sure to eat all of the candy too, because sugar makes you happy, and when your happy I'm happy, and sugar is sooo cool, don't you think?"

  


Specs grabs Snitch and drags him back to the story.

  


Specs: "Thanks for the review!"

  


  


SPAZJOSLYN~ So much story, so little time. Days should be longer! I' ll update as much as humanly possible. I'm glad you found it funny. Now for your candy.

  


Ink: "Race, you have a delivery to make."

  


Race: "How often are you gonna change my job? First I'm a costume designer, then I'm da narrator, now I'm a delivery boy?"

  


Ink: "But Race, you're delivering candy to a reviewer!"

  


Race: "Why didn't you say so!"

  


He grabs the candy, and runs to you. He takes your hand and kisses it, before handing you a bag filled with warheads and pixistix of all flavors.

  


Race: "I hope you like it! Thanks for the review!"

  


  


PBUTTERCUP~ I'm glad you liked it! Sugar highs are the best kind of high! Since you reviewed, you get candy!

  


Skittery walks out and hands you a garbage bag filled to the top with pixistix and warheads.

  


Skittery: "Thank you sooooooo much for reviewing!"

  


  



	5. The Fox and the Crow

Disclaimer: I own very little. Disney owns Newsies, Aesop owns the fables, other stuff belongs to other people, Ink belongs to me.

*Moral- Don't sue me.

  


A/N[1]: Chapter five, coming right up. I hope you like it!

  


  


  


  


Tale 5: **The Fox and the Crow**

  


  


  


  


Dave: "I am NOT playing a girl!"

  


Ink: "Oh yes you are!"

  


Dave pouts and crosses his arms over his chest.

  


Dave: "Fine, but don't expect me to put forth any effort."

  


Ink: "GOOD! You'll fit right in!"  
  


Snoody walks onto the stage, carrying the giant storybook.

  


Specs runs up behind him, and snatches the book out of his hands.

  


Snoody: "What the...!?"

  


Specs: "I'm narrating dis story."

  


Snoody: "Fine, see if I care!"

  


Specs: "HA! I'm da narrator, now everyone has to do what I say, Ahh the power!"

  


Ink: "Excuse me!"

  


Specs: "Everyone but Ink has to do what I say, Ahh the power!"

  


Ink: "That's much better."  
  


Snoody: "But Ink... He stole my job."

  


Ink pats his back.

  


Ink: "It's okay Snoody, you can narrate the next story, now go eat some pixistix."

  


Snoody: "Yay sugar! Where is it?"

  


Bumlets: "Go ask Snitch."

  


Snoody skips off in search of Snitch and sugar.

  


Specs: "**A crow who had stolen a piece of cheese was flying toward the top of a tall tree where she hoped to enjoy her prize,**"

  


Dave, in a crow costume, comes flying over the audience on a pulley.

  


Dave: "I can fly! Now, second star to the right and strait on till morning! Come Tinkerbell!"

  


Mush comes flying up beside him in full Tinkerbell costume.

  


Ink: "Guys! Wrong story!"

  


Mush: "You mean I can't wear the pretty costume?"

  


Ink: "No, where did that ridiculous thing come from anyway?"

  


Mush: "Race gave it to me."

  


Ink: "Race, why must you encourage them?"

  


Race shrugs.

  


Kid Blink: "I dunno, I think Mush looks good in tights."

  


Ink raises an eyebrow.

  


Dave: "Pie Eater, let me down!"

  


Pie: "I can't, the pulley's caught."

  


Mush: "Then let me down." 

  


Pie: "I can't, your pulley is what Dave's pulley is caught on."

  


Boots: "Well how long will it take to get them uncaught?"

  


Pie: "Well, that depends. Does anyone have a really long stick and some bubble gum?"

  


Swifty: "Wait, I have an idea."

  


He grabs the fake tree and moves it under the two entangled boys.

  


Swifty: "There, now Dave's in da tree."

  


Ink: "Good enough for me!"

  


Specs: "**when a fox spied her.**"

  


Kid Blink walks onto the stage, wearing the same fox costume that Jack had worn.

  


Blink grins.

  


Blink: "I like bein' a fox."

  


Jack: "Freak!"

  


Blink: "At least I didn't have to be carried onto da stage."

  


Jack sticks his tongue out at Blink who laughs.

  


Blink: "**If I plan this right,**"

  


Specs: "**said the fox to himself,**"

  


Blink: "**I shall have cheese for supper.**"

  


Dave: "I can hear you."

  


Blink: "You can not, you only think you can."

  


Dave looks very confused.

  


Blink: "So there."  
  


Mush waves.

  


Mush: "Hi Blink!"

  


Blink grins.

  


Blink: "Hiya Tinkermush!"

  


Ink groans.

  


Ink: "For crying out Bob!"

  


Jake: "Who's Bob?"

  


Ink: "He's the funny invisible blue man who lives in my best friends closet."

  


Jake: "Oh."

  


Specs: "**So as he sat under the tree, he began to speak in his politest tones:**"

  


Kid Blink sits down under the tree and looks up at Dave who is looking depressed.

  


Blink: "**Good day,**"

  


Dave: "Yeah right!"

  


Blink: "**mistress crow,**"

  


Dave: "I am a boy, and you know it!"

  


Blink: "**how well you are looking today!**"

  


Dave: "I can't possibly look very well, for crying out loud, I'm tangled up in this stupid tree, wearing a stupid crow costume, with a boy who is _enjoying_ being dressed like TINKERBELL!"

  


Blink falters for a moment.

  


Ink: "Dave! Shut up and stop interrupting or I am going to leave you up there permanently.

  


Dave quivers in fear and shuts his mouth.

  


Ink: "That's better."

  


Blink: "**How glossy your wings, and your breast is the breast of an eagle."**

  


Mush starts cracking up, which causes Blink to start cracking up, which ends up causing a chain reaction. Pretty soon everyone but Dave is laughing hysterically.

  


Dave looks indignant.

  


Dave: "IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY!"

  


Ink tries to stop laughing so she can bring some order back to the set, but the sight of Dave looking like an indignant female crow is just too freaking funny.

  


Finally everyone calms down enough to continue.

  


Blink: "**And your claws-I beg pardon- your talons are as strong as steel.**"

  


Dave looks a bit less indignant, as this last compliment was a bit more manly.

  


Blink: "**I have not heard your voice, but I am certain that it must surpass that of any other bird just as your beauty does.**"

  


Specs: "**The vain crow was pleased by all this flattery.**"

  


Mush pokes Dave.

  


Mush: "Dave, your supposed to look pleased."

  


Dave: "Shut up Mush."

  


Mush continues poking Dave.  
  


Mush: "Not until you look pleased."

  


Dave plasters a demented looking smile on his face.

  


Mush: "That's much better, see it wasn't that hard."

  


Dave stares at Mush with a murderous look in his eyes.

  


Specs: "**She believed every word of it and waggled her tail and flapped her wings to show her pleasure.**"

  


Dave holds stock still.

  


Mush looks at him slyly, then he begins tickling him, causing him to flail around and kick his legs.

  


Ink: "Thank you Mush."

  


Mush: "No problem."

  


Specs: "**She liked especially what friend fox had to say about her voice,**"

  


Dave: "I do not, I think he is a conniving twit."

  


Ink: "Mush, smack him."

  


Mush complies.

  


Dave looks at Mush.

  


Dave: "You do know that I hate you correct?"

  


Mush nods, smirking.

  


Specs: "**for she had sometimes been told that her caw was a bit rusty.**"

  


Dave: "HEY!"

  


Specs: "**So, chuckling to think how she was going to surprise the fox with her most beautiful caw, she opened wide her mouth.**"

  


Before anyone could move, or say another word, someone new walked onto the stage.

  


Ink: "Fidget?"

  


Fidget holds a finger up to her lips, and continues slinking toward Blink whose back is turned to her.

  


Ink: "Fidget, what are you doing in my story?"

  


Fidget smirks evilly and quickly pulls Blinks pants down.

  


Blink: "What the fu...?"

  


Ink: "Blink, watch your language!"  
  
Blink: "Crutchy got to swear!"

  


Ink runs after Fidget.

  


Ink: "Fidget get OUT of my story and don't pants any more of my actors!"

  


Fidget: "Wait, I can't go yet."

  


Ink: "WHY NOT?"

  


Fidget: "Spot owes me money."

  


Ink: "For what?"

  


Fidget: "He said if I sabotaged your story, he would pay me."

  


Ink: "But... You're my best friend!"

  


Fidget: "Hey, a dollars a dollar."

  


Ink: "Yeah but... Wait... You sabotaged my entire story for ONE DOLLER?"

  


Fidget: "Well...."

  


Ink: "That's it! Fidget get out of my story. SPOT!"

  


Spot: "What?"

  


Ink: "GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

  


Spot: "WHAT!?"

  


Ink: "Use the rest of the story to think about what you've done, and your cane stays with me."

  


She takes his cane.

  


Spot pouts, and stomps up to his room.

  


Ink: "DAVE!"

  


Dave looks at her, afraid.

  


Ink: "Why isn't your mouth open?"

  


Not wanting to incur her wrath, Dave's mouth falls open immediately.

  


Ink: "That's better."

  


Ink looks at Blink, whose pants are still around his ankles.

  


She notices writing on his boxers,

  


Ink: "Behold, the power of cheese?"

  


Blink blushes and pulls up his pants.

  


Jack: "Hey, I love those commercials."

  


Specs: "**Down dropped the piece of cheese!**"

  


Dave drops a nurf football which has been painted to look like swiss cheese.

  


Specs: "**The wily fox snatched it before it touched the ground,**"

  


Blink grabs the football and proceeds to take a huge bite out of it.

  


Blink: "Yum, cheeder!"

  


Ink slaps her forehead.

  


Specs: "**and as he walked away, licking his chops he offered these words of advice to the silly crow:**"

  


Blink walks off, continuing to eat the football,

  


Blink: "**The next time someone praises your beauty be sure to hold your tongue.**"

  


Dave is about to protest, when all of a sudden there is a loud SNAP!

  


Pie: "Hey, I got it."

  


Dave falls to the stage.

  


Dave: "Owww!"

  


Pie: "Sorry Dave."

  


He laughs as he lowers Mush slowly to the ground.

  


Mush: "Thank you Pie!"

  


Pie: "No problem Mush."

  


Dave groans and limps off stage.

  


Snitch comes out on stage doing a happy dance.

  


Snitch: "Alarice gave me more sugar!"

  


Ink looks at him and shakes her head.

  


Ink: "Oh joy."

  


Snitch: "Da moral is;** Flatterers are not to be trusted."**

  


He continues doing a happy dance until he is well out of sight of the audience.

  


The curtain falls.

  


  


  


  


A/N[2]: Hehe, I love torturing Dave! I hope you liked this chapter. I wrote it sort of fast so I could get it out sooner! Yay for me! Please review!

~Ink

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shoutouts!

  


  


SPECSGLASSES~ I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS! The longer the better! Specs and Dutchy could kick anybodies ass, but Snitch cheated, he was on a sugar high! Lol! I added the scene with Spot and his cane just for you, don't you feel loved? Lol! Yay, I get a get well soon basket! And it has cool stuff in it! And Itey was singing happy birthday! Could reviews get any better? I think not! I'm glad you liked the soup.

Snitch pokes her.

And the candy. Thank you sooooooo much for reviewing!

  


  


GYPSY-MORRIGAN~ Yay, a new reviewer! I'm glad you like my story. Thank you for reviewing!

  


  


PBUTTERCUP~ I'm glad you liked the candy! Your review was so pointless that it was amusing : ) That was one long ass sentence! Thanks for reviewing!


	6. The Gardener and His Dog

Disclaimer: I own very little. Disney owns Newsies, Aesop owns the fables, other stuff belongs to other people, Ink belongs to me.

*Moral- Don't sue me.

  


A/N[1]: Sorry for the break. My stupid English teacher assigned us a term paper. And it's only October! I HATE TERM PAPERS! Anyway, on with the story.

  


  


  


  


  


Tale 6: **The Gardener and His Dog**

  


  


  


  


Swifty: "Ink, have you seen Race? I need a costume and I can't find him anywhere."

  


Ink: "Sorry Swift, I haven't seen him since we had the conversation about Mush and the Tinkerbell costume."

  


Mush, still clad in full Tinkerbell ensemble, strolls out onto the stage.

  


Mush: "Ink, Specs told me to tell you that no one can find Race."

  


Ink: "Great, now I have no costume designer! I have to go let Spot out of his room, GUYS, TRY AND FIND RACE!"

  


Everyone starts looking for Race.

  


Itey checks under the carpet.

  


Snitch begins running around the stage and backstage area screaming;

  


Snitch: "RaceRaceRaceRaceRaceRaceRaceRaceRaceRaceRaceRace!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

  


Ink rolls her eyes, and makes her way up the stairs to let Spot out of his room.

  


As she gets closer to the door, she starts hearing suspicious noises emanating from within.

  


She quietly opens the door a crack, and takes a good long gawk, before silently closing the door again and walking back to the stage, smirking.

  


Ink: "I found Race."

  


Jack: "I thought you were goin' ta let Spot out of his room."

  


Ink: "I think I'll give him a few more minutes to... think about what he's done."

  


She says smiling lewdly.

  


All the boys sit down to wait, and the begin to play Bullshit.

  


Dutchy: "Six kings!"

  


He lays six cards down on the large pile in the center of the table.

  


Jake: "Bullshit, there are only four kings in a deck of cards you moron."

  


Dutchy looks hurt, and turns over the six cards, revealing six kings.

  


Specs: "Who's deck are we using?"

  


Itey: "I think dere Race's."

  


Jack: "Figures."

  


Ink walks toward the stairs carrying Spot's cane.

  


Bumlets: "Are we finally gonna start da story?"

  


Ink: "We'll start the story when I'm good and ready to start the story!"

  


She goes up to Spots room, throws the door open, and walks in nonchalantly.

  


Both boys are oblivious of Ink's presence, as they continue their hot and heavy make out session on Spot's bed.

  


Race is straddling Spot's hips, and both boys are shirtless.

  


Ink watches for a few minutes before interrupting them.

  


Ink: "AHEM!"

  


Spot bolts up, causing Race to fall on the floor.

  


Race: "OWWW!"

  


Spot: "Don't you know how to knock?"

  


Ink: "What would be the fun in that?"

  


Race stands up blushing and wiping the dust off of his pants.

  


Ink: "Race, don't you have costumes to make?"

  


Race: "What story are we doin' again?"

  


Ink: "The gardener and his dog."

  


Race: "So we need a gardener and a dog right?"

  


Ink: "That _would_ seem logical now wouldn't it?"

  


Race runs out of the room, pulling on his shirt and trying to figure out just what exactly a gardener wears.

  


Ink: "Spot your in this one."

  


Spot: "Am I da gardener, or da dog?"

  


He asks suspiciously.

  


Ink smirks.

  


Spot: "No way in hell!"

  


Ink: "I'll give you your cane back."

  


Spot reluctantly agrees, and Ink drags him out of his room and down to the stage.

  


Spot: "I don't have my shirt!"

  


Ink: "We don't have time to worry about such trivial things as a shirt."

  


Spot appears to be thinking hard as they come backstage.

  


Ink: "Now stop wondering what trivial means, and go get your costume from Race."

  


He walks toward the dressing room smirking.

  


Ink: "And BEHAVE!"

  


Boots and Snipeshooter walk on stage pushing what looks like a giant wishing well.

  


Boots: "Ink, where do ya want dis thing?"

  


Snipeshooter: "Yeah, it weighs a ton."

  


Ink: "Center stage please boys."

  


Kid Blink walks on stage looking worried.

  


Blink: "Ink, have you seen Mush?"

  


Ink: "Not since earlie...."

  


Mush comes flying over the stage on a pulley, clapping his hands.

  


Mush: "I do believe in fairies!!!!!!"

  


Blink grins.

  


Blink: "I believe in fairies too!"

  


Ink groans.

  


Ink: "Pie Eater! Put him down before I hurt someone!"

  


Pie: "Don't you mean before he hurts someone?"

  


Ink: "NO!"

  


Crutchy: "Everyone's ready to start the story."

  


Ink: "Finally."

  


Les runs out.

  


Les: "Are there any pixistix left?"

  


Ink: "No, I didn't think it was possible, but we managed to eat all 10,502 +2 bunches and a whole lotta pixistix given to us by ShakesEE, in ONE WEEK!"

  


Les pouts.

  


Ink: "Dave would you be so kind as to remove your brother from the stage, we are trying to start the story."

  


Dave, not wanting a repeat of the last story, runs on stage and drags his brother off.

  


Snoody walks on stage carrying the storybook.

  


Snoody: "**The Gardener was drawing water at the well to water his garden plants.**"

  


Swifty walks out wearing blue-jean overalls with a giant pink daisy painted on the front, and a straw hat on his head.

  


Ink: "Race, where in the ever lovin' universe did you get the idea for that costume?"

  


Race: "Umm... It looked better when Martha Stewart did it?"

  


Ink: "Oh for crying out loud, just keep going."

  


Swifty starts lowering the bucket into the well to draw out the water.

  


Snoody: "**His little dog was jumping and barking on the well curb**..."

  


Spot bounds out wearing only his pants with a dog tail attached, and a pair of floppy ears.

  


He climbs up onto the well curb, and begins jumping and barking fervently.

  


Ink raises an eyebrow.

  


Snoody: "**until he lost his balance and fell in.**"

  


Ink waits, expecting Spot to object but to her shock and amazement, he complies, immediately jumping into the well.

  


Ink: "Spot.... Why are you cooperating?"

  


Spot: "I'se all worn out, so I figured I'd help ya out."

  


Ink: "Gee Spot, what could you have possibly done to ware you out?"

  


Spot: "Shut up or I'll stop bein' good."

  


Race: "You could never stop bein' GOOD!"

  


Spot smirks.

  


Snoody: "**Hearing the splash,**..."

  


Itey, Dutchy, Skittery, Snitch: "SPLASH!"

  


Snoody: "**the gardener quickly drew off his clothes and descended into the well to rescue his dog.**"

  


Skittery: "It does not say that!"

  


Snoody: "It does so!"  
  


Skittery snatches the book.

  


Skittery: "Let me see that, hey, it does say that."

  


Snoody grabs the book back.

  


Snoody: "Told ya so."

  


Skittery sticks out his tongue.

  


Snoody: "Save it for Snitch."

  


Skittery quickly pulls his tongue back into his mouth.

  


Spot: "No way is he saving me naked!"

  


Ink: "He won't be naked!"  
  


Swifty takes off the overalls, revealing bright pink boxers.

  


Ink: "He'll only be mostly naked."

  


Swifty lowers himself into the well.

  


Spot: "Swift, why are ya wearin' pink underwear?"

  


Swifty: "Dey matched da flower on da overalls."

  


Snoody: "**Just as he was bringing the struggling and slippery animal to the top,**"

  


Swifty picks up Spot who begins to struggle in a slippery fashion.

  


Snipeshooter: "That don't look right."

  


The rest of the boys nod in agreement, except for Race, as he is quite turned on watching his wet boyfriend writhe around.

  


Snoody: "**the ungrateful wretch bit his master's hand.**"

  


Spot grabs Swifty's hand, and bites down.

  


Swifty: "Owww.... Get it off me!!!!!"

  


Spot lets go with a look of disgust.

  


Spot: "What the hell is on your hand, that's gross."

  


Swifty cradles his injured hand.

  


Swifty: "I need a doctor, someone get me some peroxide immediately!"

  


He inspects the wound.

  


Swifty: "I hope I don't get Bitch Rabies!"

  


Ink: "Swifty, keep going with the script."

  


Swifty: "I think I need stitches!"

  


Ink: "Please keep going with the script?"

  


Swifty: "Fine, but you'll be hearing from my lawyer."

  


Jake: "You don't have a lawyer."

  


Swifty: "You are sincerely no help, you know that?"

  


Jake shrugs.

  


Spot: "Any day now guys!"  
  


Swifty: "**Why you little monster!**"

  


Everyone backstage giggles.

  


Snoody: "**exclaimed the gardener.**"

  


Swifty: "**If that is your idea of gratitude to a master who feeds you and pets you and treats you kindly,**..."

  


Everyone really starts laughing now.

  


Swifty: "**then pull yourself out of the well.**"

  


Spot, who is sitting on the edge of the well, looks up at him warily.

  


Snoody: "I don't think I want ta say the next line."

  


Ink: "Don't worry, I won't let Spot hurt you."

  


She looks warningly at Spot, who looks at her innocently.

  


Snoody: "**With that he dropped the dog right back into the well again.**"

  


Swifty walks up behind Spot, and shoves him back into the well.

  


Spot: "ACK!"

  


By this point, everyone is rolling on the floor in hysterics.

  


Snitch walks onto the stage wearing a black t-shirt which reads "sugar is life" in glittery letters.

  


Snitch: "Moral; **Don't bite the hand that feeds you!**"

  


The Curtain drops.

  


  


  


  


A/N[2]: (throws confetti) Spot/Race! I love Spot/Race, as everyone should. Spot got his cane back, so you all can stop yelling at me now! I had every single newsie in this chapter, I don't think that has ever happened before. Another chapter done!

~Ink

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shoutouts!

  


  


LIAMS KITTEN~ I'm sorry I missed your review! Just for that;

All newsies walk over to you and hand you bags full of warheads and pixistix!

Dude, what sound does a llama make? And I don't know exactly what glomping is. I'm sure you can use your imagination though! GO SUCK AN ELF! LOL! That was too funny! Thanks for reviewing!!!!!

  


  


SPECSGLASSES~ Dude, everyone loves Bob! Don't worry, I gave Spot his cane back. I love random!Jack too! I'm glad you didn't mind me mentioning you, I was worried 'cause I didn't ask permission. Mr. ED ROCKS!!! There's a Mr. Ed marathon on T.V. Land next Saturday! Thank you for reviewing!!!!!!

  


  


FIVEFOLD~ First Time Reviewer! (runs around throwing confetti) JUST ONE? You can have 29,653 pixistix, because that is my favorite number. Thank you for reviewing!!!!!

  


  


SHAKESEE~ DUDE, you totally reviewed every chapter! That's awesome! I'm glad you found my story! Now you got me thinkin' what the hell is the plural of fox? GIANT PIXISTIX ROCK! No one sells them around here :( Dude, you totally have to send me the Christmas card with that picture on it! SNARKY! That's one of my favorite words ever! HA, it was Snitch in the hay and you guessed it! That's awesome! Recess is a very cool show! No I have never had warhead bubble gum, is it gross? The mental images are nice aren't they? Dude, I GOT TEN THUMBS UP! That has to be some kind of a record. I'm glad you're enjoying my story! Thanks for reviewing!!!!!!!!!!

  


  


PBUTTERCUP~ I updated fast right before I took a break to write a term paper. *@$#%!^ Term paper! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! That makes me so proud (wipes away tear) Thanks for reviewing!!!!!!

  


SPAZJOSLYN~ Blink does have a nice ass doesn't he? I gave Spot's cane back! Anyway, he deserved it. He sabotaged my story! I'm glad you liked it! Thank you for reviewing!!!!!


	7. The Angler and the Little Fish

Disclaimer: I own very little. Disney owns Newsies, Aesop owns the fables, other stuff belongs to other people, Ink belongs to me.

*Moral- Don't sue me.

  


A/N[1]: Hi everybody! Everyone seemed confused about who Fidget was, so I'll tell you, Fidget is my best friend, who read my story and then begged and pleaded to be in it. Now she loves fanfiction, and we wrote a story together under the name Fidget Inc. It's called Verliezende geld, tijd reis, en reusachtig muizen. So check it out! Anyway on with the story...

  


  


  


  


Tale 7: **The Angler and the Little Fish**

  


  


  


  


  


Ink: "Snoody, are you feeling alright?"

  


Snoody: "No, ::sneeze:: I think I'm commin' down wit somethin' ::sniff::."

  


Ink: "It's probably that stupid cold that's going around, You'd better get into bed before it gets any worse."

  


Snoody nods wearily and heads up to bed.

  


Ink scans the room.

  


Ink: "Snipeshooter, do you want to narrate this story?"

  


Snipeshooter: "Really, you want me to narrate. I'd love ta narrate!"

  


Ink: "Great, that takes care of that problem."

  


Les: "Hey... uh... Ink, Spot's really sick, he's layin' in his bed askin' everyone who passes by to shoot him and end his misery."

  


Ink: "As disturbing as that is, I'm too bust to check on him right now, I'm trying to get the story started."

  


Les: "Isn't Spot in dis one?"

  


Ink: "No, thank god, I think everyone who is working on this story is perfectly..."

  


Race: "Ink..."

  


Ink: "Healthy?"

  


Race: "I don't feel so good."

  


Ink: "Damnit."

  


Les: "Hey, I think Race has the same thing Spot's got."

  


Ink: "I'm shocked! Racetrack, however did you acquire such a disease?"

  


Ink asks sarcastically.

  


Race: "Shut up and leave me alone!"

  


Jack: "Someone's cranky."

  


Ink: "Hey leave him alone, he's sick."

  


Jack: "But you just..."

  


Ink: "No buts, now leave him alone before I make you my new costume designer."

  


Jack: "meep!"

  


He runs backstage.

  


Ink: "Bumlets! Your the costume designer, get to work! Les get the tank center stage. And make sure the water's warm, we have enough people sick already. Race, go to bed and get some rest. I will bring you some hot chicken soup when the story's over."

  


Race slowly makes his way upstairs.

  


Ink grabs a bullhorn.

  


Ink on a bullhorn: "ATTENTION EVERYONE! THE SNOGGING CLOSET IS OFFICIALLY OFF LIMITS UNTIL EVERYONE IS WELL AGAIN!"

  


Mush, Blink, Snitch, Skittery, Specs, Dutchy: "Awwww!"

  


Ink: "Okay, on with the story, Snipeshooter your on."

  


Snipeshooter walks on stage carrying the storybook. Attempting to look very dignified and important, he opens it and begins reading.

  


Snipeshooter: "**An angler after a long day's toil, had nothing to show for his pains but one small fish.**"

  


Itey strolls on stage wearing green cargo pants, and a black 'Phish' t-shirt. Pie Eater comes out after him wearing a plaid shirt, a tan vest, and a bucket hat with little fishing dohickies all over it.

  


Boots: "Those have got ta be da lamest costumes I've ever seen."

  


Ink: "Bumlets, that's your idea of a fish costume?"

  


Bumlets: "What else was I supposed to do in ten minutes?"

  


Ink: "Point taken."

  


Itey jumps into the tank of water.

  


Itey: "This water's really nice!"

  


Les: "I hope you appreciate it, it took forever to heat up all dat water!"

  


Bumlets: "Why didn't you use the hot water faucet?"

  


Les: "There's a hot water faucet?"

  


Everybody nods.

  


Les: "ARGGG!"

  


Ink starts laughing.

  


Ink: "Yes minions, dance for me!"

  


Ink cackles manically.

  


Jake: "Ink... Are _you_ feeling okay?"

  


Ink: "Did I say that out loud?"

  


Jake nods.

  


Ink: "From now on disregard everything I say right before I cackle manically."

  


Jake: "....okay....."

  


Ink: "Snipeshooter, shouldn't you be narrating?"

  


Snipeshooter: "Oh yeah."

  


Ink smiles innocently at Jake, who backs away slowly.

  


Snipeshooter: "**As he was taking the perch off the hook the fish spoke.**"

  


Pie Eater throws a piece of yarn with an unbent paper clip attached to the end into the tank.

  


Pie Eater: "Here fishy, fishy, fishy."

  


Itey: "That's your fishing pole?"

  


Pie Eater: "What's wrong with it?"

  


Itey: "It's a piece of yarn!"

  


Ink: "Itey! Just get on the ever loving hook, I have sick people to tend to!"

  


Itey: "No self-respecting fish would be caught dead on that thing."

  


Pie Eater: "Of course not..."

  


Itey: "See, he agrees."

  


Pie Eater: "Fish are alive when their caught."

  


Ink: "Guys! My clothes are going out of style, do you think this might be going somewhere sometime soon?"

  


Dutchy looks at her bell bottems and tye-dyed shirt.

  


Dutchy: "_Going_ out of style?"

  


Ink: "Said the guy wearing suspenders."

  


Dutchy: "What's wrong with suspenders?"

  


Ink is becoming exasperated.

  


Ink: "Nothing, ITEY, say your damn line already!"

  


Itey gulps and tries to remember his line.

  


Itey: "**Spare me good fisherman. I am so small that I will make you but a sorry meal.**"

  


He says haltingly and without feeling.

  


David: "That acting was terrible!"

  


Boots: "Like your crow performance is going to win you an academy award."

  


David: "She made me play a girl!"

  


Jack: "And you weren't man enough to pull it off."

  


David: "Jack, who invited you into this conversation?"

  


Jack: "I invited me into dis conversation, wanna make somethin' of it?"

  


David: "Let's take this somewhere private."

  


Jack: "Fine by me."

  


They walk off to find a more suitable place to argue.

  


Itey who has now had time to practice his lines better, continues in a much more dramatic fashion.

  


Itey: "**Throw me back into the river, and later when I am grown bigger and worth eating, you may come here and catch me again.**"

  


Pie Eater: "Good deal!"

  


He begins to lower Itey back into the water.

  


Ink: "PIE!"

  


Pie Eater: "What?"

  


Ink: "Did you even read the story before you came out?"

  


Pie Eater: "Of course I did, I especially liked the part when she kissed the frog and he turned into a prince."

  


Ink: "Does this LOOK like the frog prince to you?"

  


Pie Eater: "Well, Itey sorta looks like a frog."

  


Itey: "Hey!"

  


Ink sighs and quickly scribbles something onto large pieces of poster board.

  


Ink: "Okay, now all you have to do is read the lines, do you think you can handle that?"

  


Pie Eater: "Sure thing."

  


Ink holds up the cue cards.

  


Pie Eater: "All underwear 50% off Tuesday through Friday at all J.C. Penny's locations."

  


Snipeshooter: "Ink can you bring me to J.C. Penny's?"

  


Les: "I think you have the cards backwards."

  


Ink: "Oops!"

  


She turns the cards around.

  


Ink: "And no, we are not going to J.C. Penny's."

  


Snipeshooter: "But fifty percent off is a good deal!"

  


Ink: "Can we please discuss underwear on your own time?"

  


Snipeshooter sighs.

  


Snipeshooter: "Fine."

  


Ink: "Thank you."

  


Pie Eater: "**No, no,**"

  


Les: "It took him ten minutes to say no twice?"

  


Ink: "Amazing isn't it?"

  


Snipeshooter: "**Said the wary angler,**"

  


Ink holds up the next card, making sure that it is the side with the script on it.

  


Pie Eater: "**I have you now, but if you once get back into the water, your tune will be 'catch me if you can.'**"

  


Pie Eater grins, having completed his part.

  


Ink hears a noise and walks to the closet.

  


Ink: "I thought I made it perfectly clear that the snogging closet was off limits."

  


She opens the door.

  


Ink: "Jack? David?"

  


Jack and David break for air and look up at Ink embarrassed.

  


Jack: "Uh... April Fools?"

  


Ink: "It's October."

  


David: "Really early April Fools?"

  


Ink: "Get out of the closet!"

  


Both boys scurry out of the closet.

  


Ink begins muttering to herself as she makes her way to the kitchen to heat up some chicken soup.

  


Ink: "Stupid horny teenage boys. I say the closet's off limits and what's the first thing they do? They go right in! And how the HELL they went from arguing to sucking face is beyond me!"

  


Snitch walks onto the stage. 

  


Every few seconds he holds a small tube up to his nose and smells it.

  


Snitch: "Skittery got me a new chapstick, and it smells good!"

  


Bumlets: "What's it smell like?"

  


Snitch: "Apple pie."

  


Ink walks by, balancing three hot bowls of soup.

  


Ink: "Snitch, have you done the moral yet?"

  


Snitch: "Nope."

  


Ink: "Don't you think it's about time you did?"

  


Snitch: "Sure! Today's moral is, **Beware of the promises of a desperate man!**"

  


Snitch smiles as he applys more chapstick and then proceeds to lick it all off.

  


Snitch: "It tastes like apple pie too!"

  


The curtain falls.

  


  


  


  


A/N[2]: hehe Phish! Please review! And then go read my other story and review that too! I'm home sick today with a cold, so I thought I'd spread the joy.

~Ink

  


Race: "You'se made me and Spot sick! Now we can't have no fun!"

  


Ink: "Don't worry, next chapter I can make you well with my magical healing powers."

  


Race looks skeptical.

  


Ink smirks.

  


Race runs.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shoutouts!

  


  


SPECSGLASSES~ I'm glad you liked the Race/Spot! It made me happy too! All of my newsies feel very loved now! And I feel loved. AND I get chocolate! I like chocolate! Also thanks for reviewing Ring Around the Rosy. I know it was kind of depressing. Anyway, Thank you for reviewing!

  


  


  


LIAMS KITTEN~ Dude! Long rambly off topic reviews are what make my life worth living! LOL, I am far from frightened. In fact I am highly amused by your review! Race is on top because I flipped a coin, plus it was fun to make him fall onto the floor! HUMMING LLAMAS! Thanks for the review!

  


  


  


T-R-US~ Hurray for first time reviewers! I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing!

  


  


  


SATURDAY~ You reviewed every chapter! My closet people send their regards as they are pleased to have you as a reviewer! I could never get sick of you, reviews are what I live for! I'm so happy you like my story! Thank you thank you thank you for reviewing!

  


  


  


AGUACHICA~ I think Race and John would get along very well. They should go golfing! I am thrilled that you liked my story. Thank you for the reviews!

  


  


  


FIVEFOLD~ I'm glad you liked the chapter, it took forever to write. Thank you for reviewing!


	8. The Ant and the Grasshopper

Disclaimer: I own very little. Disney owns Newsies, Aesop owns the fables, other stuff belongs to other people, Ink belongs to me.

*Moral- Don't sue me.

  


A/N[1]: I'm back! Stupid computer broke down. Better now!

  


  


  


  


  


Tale 8:** The Ant and the Grasshopper**

  


  


  


  


  


Ink walks on stage carrying the bullhorn.

  


Ink on a bullhorn: "I HAVE TWO ANNOUNCEMENTS TO MAKE. ONE, COMPUTERS ARE THE WORK OF THE DEVIL! AND TWO, SINCE EVERYONE IS BETTER, THE SNOGGING CLOSET IS OPEN AGAIN!"

  


Specs, Dutchy, Snitch, Skittery, Spot, Race, Kid Blink, Mush, Jack, David: "Alright!"

  


There is a mad rush for the closet.

  


Ink jumps out of the way and grabs Jack and Race as they are running past.

  


Much to the disappointment of Spot and David.

  


Race&Jack: "Hey, what gives?"

  


Ink: "If you'd care to remember we still have a story to do, Jack go get in costume and Race, go make the costume for Jack."

  


Spot and Dave both sulk off to occupy themselves while their boyfriends are busy.

  


Kid Blink: "HA!"

  


He shoves Mush into the closet and pulls the door closed behind himself.

  


Mush: "We win!"

  


The other two couples look dejected for a moment before remembering that they couldn't care less whether or not people could see them making out.

  


Thus a snogging fest ensues!

  


Ink: "Guys! Have a little decency would you?"

  


She is promptly ignored.

  


Ink: "Race, are the costumes done yet?"

  


Race: "Almost."

  


Ink: "Well hurry up!"

  


Race: "Don't rush me or they'll be wearin' 'Phish' T-shirts again."

  


Ink: "There are no fish in this story."

  


Race: "Precisely why you shouldn't rush me!"

  


Snipeshooter walks out wearing nothing but underwear.

  


Snipeshooter: "Ink brought me to J.C. Penny's!"

  


Ink: "SNIPESHOOTER! GET SOME CLOTHES ON!"

  


Snipeshooter: "But then I can't show off my new underwear."

  


Les: "I get my underwear at garage sales!"

  


Ink: "You buy _used _underwear?"

  


Les: "Yup."

  


Everyone takes several large steps away from Les.

  


Ink: "Snipeshooter go get dressed, and Les, No more sharing any personal information EVER!"

  


Snipeshooter goes into the dressing room and comes out a few minutes later wearing a Superman T-shirt and his underwear on the outside of his pants.

  


Ink: "Oh for the love of God!"

  


Les: "Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Look, up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's..."

  


Snipeshooter: "SUPERMAN!"

  


Suddenly, out of no where music starts playing.

  


Itey grabs a random microphone, and begins singing.

  


Itey: "_I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind._"

  


He hands the mike to Bumlets.

  


Bumlets: "_I left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time._"

  


He cautiously hands the mike to Ink, who looks indecisive for a moment before shrugging.

  


Ink: "Oh what the hell, _I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon._"

  


By now almost everyone is gathered around and getting into the song.

  


Skittery: "_I feel there's nothin' I can do, yeah._"

  


Jack comes out wearing only half of his costume.

  


Jack: "_I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon._"

  


Dave grabs the mike.

  


Dave: "_After all I knew it had to be something to do with you._"

  


He hands it to Les.

  


Les: "_I really don't mind what happens now and then._"

  


Crutchy: "_As long as you'll be my friend at the end._"

  


Dutchy bounds up.

  


Dutchy: "_If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?_"

  


Jake: "_If I'm alive and well will you be there holding my hand?_"

  


Snitch takes the microphone and jumps up on a conveniently placed table.

  


Snitch: "_I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might, kryptonite!_"

  


Snitch hands it to Spot, who looks directly into Race's eyes.

  


Spot: "_You call me strong, you call me weak but still your secrets I will keep. You took for granted all the times I never let you down._"

  


Race takes the mike, and stares back at Spot with just as much intensity.

  


Race: "_You stumbled in and bumped your head, if not for me then you'd be dead. I picked you up and put you back on solid ground._"

  


Blink and Mush stop making out long enough to join in.

  


Blink: "_If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?_"

  


He hands off to Specs.

  


Specs: "_If I'm alive and well will you be there holding my hand?_"

  


Pie Eater takes over.

  


Pie: "_I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might kryptonite!_"

  


Snipeshooter throws his hands up into the air and screams,

  


Snipeshooter: "_YEAH!!!!!!!!!_"

  


Mush: "_If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?_"

  


He gives the mike to Swifty, who says swiftly,

  


Swifty: "_If I'm alive and well will you be there holding my hand?_"

  


Snoody: "_I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might kryptonite!_"

  


Snoody thrusts the mike at Boots, who finishes the song.

  


Boots: "_Ooohhh, oohhh, oohhh._"

  


The music stops and everyone pauses for a second.

  


Les: "Well, that was weird."

  


Ink: "So that's what it feels like to randomly break into song."

  


Snipeshooter: "Lets do another! _I can't stand to fly, I'm not that naive..._"

  


Ink: "NO! We are NOT doing another song. We have to do the story!"

  


Snipeshooter pouts, and everyone goes back to what they were doing.

  


Snoody walks center stage carrying with him the giant storybook.

  


Snoody: "**One frosty autumn day an ant was busily storing away some of the kernels of wheat which he had gathered during the summer to tide him over the coming winter.**"

  


Boots, dressed to resemble an ant, walks onto the stage, and begins stacking cereal boxes.

  


Ink: "Let me guess, Wheaties?"

  


Boots: "Yup."

  


Ink: "Figures."

  


Snoody: "**A grasshopper, half perishing from hunger, came limping by.**"

  


Jack, wearing a grasshopper outfit complete with antenna, comes on stage limping over-dramatically.

  


Snoody: "**Perceiving what the industrious ant was doing,**"

  


Jack looks at Boots in an over-dramatic fashion, which is a very hard way to look at something and to date has only been done by Jack himself, and by Jim Carrey, who has the ability to do anything in an over-dramatic fashion.

  


Snoody: "**He asked for a morsel from the ant's store to save his life.**"

  


Jack: "Please may I have a bowl of Wheaties, the breakfast of champions, which is sure to tide me over for the entire winter, because everybody knows that grasshoppers only have to eat once in the autumn for their lives to be saved that winter."

  


Boots: "Neva, Die sucka, I'm da baddest motha whose eva lived!"

  


Ink: "Boots! You are not now, nor have you ever been Shaft, now stick to the script!"

  


Boots sighs.

  


Boots: "Fine."

  


He turns his attention back to Jack.

  


Boots: "**What were you doing all during the summer while I was busy harvesting?**"

  


Swifty: "Inquired the ant."

  


Snoody: "Swifty, stop reading over my shoulder, and that's my line! Ahem, **Inquired the ant.**"

  


Jack: "**Oh,**"

  


Snoody: "**Replied the grasshopper,**"

  


He says quickly before Swifty has a chance.

  


Jack: "**I was not idle.**"

  


Everybody gives him the 'yeah right' look.

  


Jack: "**I was singing and chirping all day long.**"

  


Swifty: "'Cause that's much better than doing nothing."

  


He says sarcastically.

  


Bumlets: "Hey, somebody's gotta do it."

  


Ink: "Boys can we wrap this up?"

  


Boots: "**Well,**"

  


Snoody: "**Said the ant, smiling grimly as he locked his granary door,**"

  


Boots locks up the boxes of Wheaties, as Jack looks distraught.

  


Boots: "**Since you sang all summer, it looks as though you would have to dance all winter.**"

  


Jack: "What the Hell is that supposed to mean you...."

  


(Here Jack goes into several minutes of swearing at and insulting Boots, including several choice words about his mother. But as this story is still rated PG-13, and I would like to keep it that way, I will not tell you what all Jack said. Instead, I will let you in on a secret because by the time I am done revealing my secret, Jack may be done ranting and raving. So here is my secret, Ever since I was young, I have always had little flying pink elephants which come into my house and steal my Ego waffles in the middle of the night. Now you may go back to the story which is already in progress.)

  


Jack: "...like a walrus on Tuesdays!"

  


Everyone else: "......???????"

  


Jack: "You herd me!"

  


Ink, who figures it's about time to end the story, goes in search of Snitch, who has yet to do the moral.

  


She finds him and Skittery together in a corner having an in depth discussion about the differences between Pepsi Vanilla, and Vanilla Coke.

  


Ink: "Snitch, it's time to do the moral."

  


Snitch: "Okay."

  


He turns back to Skittery.

  


Snitch: "But I still think Pepsi Vanilla tastes more Vanilla-y."

  


He then runs to the stage arranging the halo as he goes.

  


Snitch: "Da moral of the story is; **It is thrifty to prepare today for the wants of tomorrow.**"

  


Ink: "Mush, Blink, Get out of the closet, it's someone else's turn."

  


She opens the door revealing two nearly naked newsies.

  


She hastily shuts the door.

  


Ink: "Finish what your doing, THEN get out of the closet, it's someone else's turn."

  


The curtain closes.

  


  


  


  


A/N[2]: I tried to make this chapter as long as possible to apologize for the break. My computer stopped working and I have had to do everything on my friends computer lately. But now I'm back! Yay! Okay, the song Kryptonite is the property of Three Doors Down, and the song Superman belongs to Five For Fighting. I'll try and have another chapter out real soon!

~Ink

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shoutouts!

  


  


T-R-US~ I always do shoutouts, because I love reviews and reviewers! Going into the closet is very fun, Too bad I gave all of my favorite Newsies boyfriends. Lol. Thanks for the review!

  


  


FIVEFOLD~ OMG, I loved your review! It made me feel better just reading it. "STAY SICK! But wait again..." That had me laughing for a good ten minutes! I like the grand plan and I'm gonna try and update more often now that my computer is fixed. Thank you for reviewing.

  


  


SPAZJOSLYN~ Race got the message! I have made him well again with my magical healing powers.

  


Race!muse: "Yeah right, healing powers, we're lucky you didn't try and find leaches to cure us!"

  


Shut up Race, and get out of the shoutouts!

  


Race!muse: "Fine then, I will."

  


Good!

  


Thank you for reviewing, I hope you liked this chapter!

  


  


SPECSGLASSES~ Fanfic.com, for some weird reason, will not let me review your story, Survey Says. So I shall tell you in the shoutout that chapters 16 and 17 were awesome! I was cracking up! I LOVE YOUR STORY! Now then, YAY I get new bunny slippers! (Parades around in bunny slippers)

  


Snitch!muse: "Whoooooo!!!!!! I get lots of chapstick!"

  


Skittery!muse: (wiggles eyebrows suggestively)

  


Snitch!muse: (grabs the pixistix and drags Skittery off to Spot's room to test all of the flavors of chapstick which are now available to him.)

  


Skittery!muse: "Thanks Alarice!!!!!!!!!"

  


No wonder it took me so long to write this chapter, all of my muses are off somewhere snogging each other! Yay! I got flowers and pretty tissues too! I feel loved! Thank you, thank you, thank you, times infinity for the review!!!

  


  


LIAMS KITTEN~ I am easily pleased as well. I can be pleased by the smallest little things, like when my mom makes something cool for dinner! I am in a really rambly mood right now! WHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I get a GINORMOUS Teddy Bear! Alright! Dude in the little world inside my head, fishing dohickies really is the technical term! It is in fact the only term anyone is allowed to use. Fishing in puddles is ALWAYS fun! Your Dutchy!muse only has one pair of underwear! Hehehehehe, that was the most amusing thing I've read in a review so far! Sprite up the nose is always fun!(hands you a tissue.) OMG, that's how I wear chapstick too! Poor LK has no money for marshmallows : ( (Glares at evil Spot!muse) She deserves pity you big meanie! Your reviews STILL amuse me!!!!! I am better now, thank you for the well wishes! Hehehehe, Skittery will rock me! (wiggles eyebrows suggestively) LOL! Thank you for reviewing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	9. The Fox and the Grapes

  


Disclaimer: I own very little. Disney owns Newsies, Aesop owns the fables, other stuff belongs to other people, Ink belongs to me.

*Moral- Don't sue me.

  


A/N[1]: Good Lord! I'm on chapter nine!

  


  


  


  


Tale 9: **The Fox and the Grapes**

  


  


  


  


Ink: "Snoody, What are you doing?"

  


Snoody: "Shhhh, me and Itey are having a staring contest."

  


Ink: "Why?"

  


Snoody: "Well because..."

  


He pauses, thinking.

  


Snoody: "Itey, why are we having a staring contest?"

  


Itey: "To see who is gonna narrate dis story."

  


Snoody: "Oh yeah."

  


He turns to Ink.

  


Snoody: "We're having a staring contest to see who narrates dis story."

  


Ink: "I heard Itey!"

  


Snoody turns back to Itey.

  


Itey is smirking.

  


Itey: "I win!"

  


Snoody: "No you don't!"

  


Itey: "You looked away!"

  


Snoody: "Only for a second!"

  


Itey: "That's still looking away!"

  


Snoody pouts.

  


Snoody: "But Ink distracted me."

  


Ink pats him on the back.

  


Ink: "Sorry Snoody, but the rules are you can't look away, and you looked away. I guess Itey's narrating."

  


Itey: "YES!!!!"

  


Ink: "Now lets start the..."

  


Race: "Ink, we're hungry!"

  


Ink: "It never fails, I try to start the story and they bring up something that has no relevancy whatsoever. At least this time no one broke out into song."

  


Music starts in the background.

  


The boys look ready to sing.

  


Ink: "I think NOT!"

  


Snipeshooter, who was very eager to do another song, as he enjoyed the last one immensely, shuffles backstage in a crest fallen manner.

  


Swifty: "That was mean, you broke the poor kids heart!"

  


Spot: "He'll get over it."

  


Mush: "What if he doesn't. He'll grow up with a complex or something, and he'll have to go to a therapist for the rest of his life. That will cost thousands of dollars, he will have to get loans to pay off his debts, and when he can't pay back his loans, the loan sharks will have him killed, and it's all your fault!"

  


Ink: "Mush, I don't think..."

  


Mush: "You killed Snipeshooter!"

  


He runs off the mourn the tragic death of his friend.

  


Blink rushes on stage.

  


Blink: "What'd you do to Mush?"

  


Ink: "I didn't do anything to Mush!"

  


Blink: "You must have done something to him, he's over there crying, and what if he starts hyperventilating? Then he could pass out, and he would die from lack of oxygen to the brain!"

  


Blink rushes off.

  


Blink: "Don't die Mush! I'm coming!"

  


Spot: "Those two are such drama queens."

  


Race: "I'm still hungry."

  


Ink: "I still want to start the story."

  


Itey: "I'm hungry too."

  


Jack: "Yeah, I haven't eaten in like... three whole hours!"

Dave: "You just ate a Poptart!"

  


Jack: "Poptarts don't count as food."

  


Dave: "Since when?"

  


Jack: "Since about six seconds ago, and either way, I'm still hungry."

  


Bumlets: "Come to think of it, me too."

  


Race: "See? We're hungry, and actors can't preform on an empty stomach."

  


Ink: "Fine, I'll make everyone something."

  


Race: "I'm not hungry anymore."

  


Itey: "Me neither."

  


Jack: "I'm still hungry."

  


Ink: "What's wrong with my cooking?"

  


Everyone whistles innocently, and averts their eyes.

  


Ink: "Hey, I made you soup when you were sick!"

  


Spot: "And we're lucky we didn't get worse."

  


Ink: "Well then, how do you expect to eat?"

  


Race: "Lets get fast food."

  


Ink: "Fine, if you want to fill your bodies with greasy, filthy, calorie filled garbage, that's been sitting under a heat lamp for several years, raise your hand."

  


Everyone raises their hands.

  


Ink: "You people disgust me."

  


Race: "Lets vote on where we should eat."

  


Ink: "I vote for the cheapest place we can find."

  


Boots: "That's not very democratic."

  


Les: "I think we should vote on as many places as we can think of!"

  


Everyone who isn't Ink: "Yeah!"

  


9 hours later.

  


Itey: "Okay, here are the results from the vote."

  


Bumlets: "Mc Donald's- 17."

  


Les: "Burger King- 14."

  


Swifty: "Long John Silvers-2."

  


Itey: "Denny's- 11."

  


Les: "Taco Bell- 17."

  


Itey: "Wendy's- 10."

  


Swifty: "Pizza Hut- 37."

  


Bumlets: "Chinese- 4."

  


Swifty: "Kentucky Fried Chicken- 26."

  


Itey: "Olive Garden- 1."

  


Les: "Golden Corral- 16."

  


Bumlets: "Arby's- 29."

  


Itey: "Red Lobster- 6."

  


Bumlets: "Subway- 21."

  


Ink: "Guys! That's 211 votes!"

  


Itey: "So?"

  


Ink: "There are only twenty one people in the room!"

  


Everyone shrugs.

  


Ink: "Who voted twice?"

  


Everyone raises both hands.

  


Race: "So... Pizza Hut?"

  


Ink: "I guess so."

  


Pizza delivery guy: "Okay, your total comes to, $129.36."

  


Ink hands him $130.00.

  


Ink: "Here, keep the change."

  


She smiles sweetly.

  


Pizza delivery guy: "Gee, thanks."

  


Ink: "Anytime."

  


Everyone pounces on Ink and the pizza.

  


Specs: "Cool, anchovies!"

  


Dutchy: "That's disgustin'!"

  


Snitch: "How long do you think it takes to catch all those little fish?"

  


Skittery: "I don't think they catch them one at a time Snitch."

  


Snitch: "Oh."

  


Bumlets: "YES! Extra cheese!"

  


Jake: "Mmmmm, pineapple."

  


Itey: "You put pineapple on pizza?"

  


Jake: "Yup."

  


He takes a big bite.

  


Ink: "Race, this was your big idea, you owe me one hundred and thirty bucks."

  


Race pulls out his dice.

  


Race: "I'll roll ya for it, double or nothin'."

  


Ink: "No!"

  


Race: "Where am I supposed to get that much money?"

  


Spot: "You should roll him for it."

  


Ink: "No, he'll win."

  


Spot: "Maybe he won't."

  


Ink: "He always does."

  


Race: "There's a fifty fifty chance."

  


Spot: "Those are good odds."

  


Ink: "Alright! Fine!"

  


They roll the dice.

  


Spot: "Race wins."

  


Race: "YES!"

  


Ink: "Damnit!"

  


Spot drags Race off to the snogging closet, carrying a pizza.

  


Ink calls after them,

  


Ink: "Do you know how many hours I had to work to make that money?"

  


Crutchy: "Seventeen and a third?"

  


Ink: "Shut up Crutchy."

  


Crutchy: "That's only three days of work!"

  


Bumlets: "You make one hundred and thirty dollars in three days?"

  


Ink: "Only during the summer."

  


Boots: "You must have the best job in the world!"

  


Ink: "My job sucks, It's just that minimum wage has gone up in the past hundred years!"

  


Snipeshooter: "So where do you work?"

  


Ink: "Gap."

  


Snipeshooter looks shocked.

  


Snipeshooter: "That's one of J.C. Penny's competitors."

  


He glares at Ink.

  


Ink slowly backs away from Snipeshooter.

  


Dave: "He's a very loyal customer."

  


Ink: "I see that."

  


Everyone finishes eating, successfully managing to kill eleven pizzas between them.

  


Ink: "Okay, lets start the story."

  


Itey: "Ohhh! I'm narrating!"

  


He grabs the book and runs out on stage.

  


Itey: "**Mister fox was just about famished,**"

  


Spot walks on stage in a fox costume.

  


Spot: "Did this guy Aesop have a fox fetish or something?"

  


Ink: "I don't know!"

  


Jack: "Isn't this like the third fox so far?"

  


Blink: "Yeah, you were a fox, I was a fox, and now Spot's a fox."

  


Mush: "You _are_ a fox Blink."

  


He says this innocently.

  


Blink smirks and puts an arm around Mush's waist.

  


Les: "Spot, you don't look very famished."

  


Spot: "No shit, I just ate half a pizza."

  


Pie Eater: "I ate a pizza pie, now I really _am_ a pie eater!"

  


Swifty: "Thanks for sharing Pie."

  


Ink: "Itey, keep going."

  


Itey: "**and thirsty too,**"

  


Spot: "I AM thirsty!"

  


Ink: "Good, it'll help you stay in character."

  


Itey: "**when he stole into a vineyard where the sun-ripened grapes were hanging on a trellis in a tempting show,**"

  


Dutchy comes out and sits at the foot of the trellis, he is entirely purple.

  


Ink: "Race?"

  


Race: "Yeah?"

  


Ink: "Tell me you didn't dye his hair purple."

  


Race: "I didn't dye his hair purple."

  


Ink: "YOU DYED HIS HAIR PURPLE!"

  


Race smirks.

  


Race: "I know."

  


Dutchy begins singing to himself in a very loud manner,

  


Dutchy: "I'm a grape! I'm a grape! I'm a grape! I'm a grape! I'm a grape! I'm a grape!"

  


Jack laughs.

  


Jack: "Dutchy's a fruit."

  


Dutchy: "And proud of it!"

  


Spot: "These whiskers are itchy."

  


Itey: "**but too high for him to reach.**"

  


Dutchy: "Oops!"

  


Dutchy climbs the trellis and sits on the top with his feet dangling down.

  


Itey: "**He took a run and a jump, snapping at the nearest bunch,**"

  


Spot runs, and jumps, and comes very close to Dutchy's right shoe.

  


Itey: "**but missed.**"

  


Dutchy pulls his legs up and Spot lands on the floor with a thump.

  


Itey: "**Again and again he jumped, only to miss the luscious prize.**"

  


Dave: "That's a great deal of fruitless effort."

  


Jake: "And that was a really bad joke."

  


Dutchy: "I'm luscious."

  


Specs: "Yes you are!"

  


Spot keeps jumping, trying with all his might to catch hold of Dutchy.

  


Itey: "**At last, worn out with his efforts, he retreated, muttering:**"

  


Spot stops jumping and begins walking away.

  


Spot: "**Well, I never really wanted those grapes anyway.**"

  


Swifty: "But Spot, you were just trying to get him like your life depended on it."

  


Spot: "Shut up Swift."

  


Swifty: "Well, it's true!"

  


Dutchy is still singing, now he is even louder than before.

  


Dutchy: "Well I saw the thing coming out of the sky

It had one long horn, one big eye

I commenced to shakin' and I said 'ohh-eee'

It looks like a purple people eater to me

It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater.

(one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater.)

A one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater.

Sure looks strange to me. (one eye?)

Well he come down to earth and lit in a tree

I said Mr. Purple People Eater don't eat me.

I heard him sat in a voice so gruff

I wouldn't eat you 'cos you're so tough

It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater.

one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater.

one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater.

Sure looks strange to me. (one horn?)

I said Mr. Purple People Eater what's your line

He said it's eatin' purple people and it sure is fine

But that's not the reason that I come to this land

I wanna get a job in a rock and roll band

Well bless my soul, rock and roll, flying purple people eater

Pigeon-toed, undergrowed, flying purple people eater

(We wear short shorts) Flying purple people eater

Sure looks strange to me.

And then he swung from the tree and lit on the ground.

He started to rock, really rockin' around

It was a crazy little ditty with a swingin' tune

(sing a wop bop aloo bop lop bam boom)

Well, bless my soul, rock and roll, flying purple people eater

Pigeon-toed, undergrowed, flying purple people eater

Flyin' little people eater

Sure looks strange to me. (purple people?)

And then he went on his way, and then what do you know.

I saw him last night on a TV show.

He was blowing it out, a 'really knockin' em dead

Playin' rock and roll music through the horn in his head

Tequila!"

  


Everyone is frozen and staring at Dutchy.

  


Itey: "What the Hell was that?"

  


Dutchy: "Purple People Eater, by Sheb Woolley."

  


He answers calmly.

  


Ink: "Spot, can you please say the last line before _I_ go insane?"

  


Spot: "**I am sure they are sour, and perhaps wormy in the bargain.**"

  


Dutchy: "I choose not to take offense at that."

  


Snipeshooter: "How come Dutchy got to sing another song?"

  


Ink: "Because I like him more."

  


Snipeshooter goes off somewhere to pout.

  


Snitch comes out on stage.

  


Snitch: "Pizza's the best food ever!"

  


Ink: "Snitch! Do the moral!"

  


Snitch: "ONE-EYED, ONE-HORNED, FLYING PURPLE PEOPLE EATER!"

  


Dutchy: "Well I saw the thing comin'..."

  


Ink: "NO, Bad Dutchy! Bad Snitch! Do the moral!"

  


Snitch: "Moral, **Any fool can despise what he cannot get.**"

  


He skips off stage humming Purple People Eater.

  


Ink: "MAY EVIL DEMON MONKEYS DECEND UPON YOU IN THE SHOWER!"

  


The curtain comes down.

  


  


  


  


A/N[2]: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Sorry this chapter took so long! I started another story. GO ME! Anyway... Ahem... I LOVE PURPLE PEOPLE EATER! Okay, I'm done now.

~Ink

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shoutouts!

  


  


ASP~ Kryptonite is like the coolest song ever! I'm so glad you reviewed! And you liked the chapter! Alright! I get double thumbs up! That's awesome! Thanks for reviewing!

  


  


CABBY1~ The sickness has not overcome me! I am well, Finally. I have never seen 'My Best Friend's Wedding', so I will have to take your word for it. At least until I go out and rent it or something! I love your reviews! Thanks for reviewing!

  


  


TIGERTESS~ That was the funniest thing you've read this week? YES! Mission accomplished! A new reviewer! YAY! Dude, the Pelvic Thrust is awesome! Thanks for reviewing!

  


  


NAKAIA AIDAN-SUN~ You thought my chapter was awesome! My life's goals have been accomplished! Hehe! I'm soooooo glad you like my story! Vanilla Pepsi s awesome! Thanks for the review! I loved it! And thanks for reviewing Ring Around The Rosy!

  


  


OBSESSED WIT' AARON LOHR~ WOOOOOOOO! Itey, just for you! Don't you feel special? Itey is awesome, he's not my favorite, but he is very high on the list! You loved my story! I can die happy now! I LOVE MAX CASELLA! I have seen like every movie he has ever been in! Everyone loves Tinkermush! I have never had diet Vanilla Pepsi. Dude! Cheep is my middle name, I annoy my friends because I totally stress about spending one dollar! Thank you for the review! I hope this chapter fulfills your Itey craving! And thank you for reviewing Ring Around The Rosy!

  


  


SPECSGLASSES~ Dude, better late than never! I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS! I think I already told yo that but I will say it again, because your reviews are just that cool! I didn't know if anyone liked the song Kryptonite, but it turns out everyone loves it! It's one of my favorite songs in the whole world!WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Snipeshooter is captain underpants. Hehehe! Alright! My paragraph was Priceless, no, wait, in fact it was PRICELESS! That's awesome! I'm glad you liked it! I have no idea where it came from. I'm sorry it took so long to update, my brother stole the computer and was hogging it and I couldn't get on! I was about to die from withdrawals! I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS! Hehe, I said it again! Thank you sooooooooooooooo much for reviewing, it means a lot to me! PEACE OUT!


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